plinko: Nostalgia (Default)
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Okay, assuming they are unlimited except for the caveat that I can not extend the time of use, somehow, and can't do any tricks like rearranging human perception of time, slowing the universe, folding or manipulating time, etc...

And assuming my powers are godlike in expanse, to where I am omniscient and omnipotent...

I would elevate all beings to a similar godhood, but on an unlimited basis, on the condition that they elevate me to godhood after my five minutes are up.

Then, I would request that we all shuffle off to build our own separate universes, in the hopes that at least one of us could come up with something less ridiculous and malfunctioning than this one.

Maybe that's what God's been doing for the past few millenia. "Well, this universe is fucked. I think I'll just go build a new one and leave this old one to its own devices." *whistle* *walk away*
plinko: Nostalgia (Default)
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My yard is not big enough for alien ships to land in it, unless the ships are pretty small, which would make the aliens quite small... Well, if our version of physics applied to them. And if they were very small, they probably would not need a whole bundt cake. So, I'd give them a cupcake instead. But, maybe that is cruel. Maybe I should not start out by trying to fatten up the aliens and put them on the road to obesity? Why not give them a nice apple? Maybe aliens don't eat food. Crap, I could be poisoning them with my delicious apples. MAYBE SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES IS JUST A CAUTIONARY TALE OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HUMANS MALICIOUSLY POISON THE ALIEN QUEEN. THOSE DWARVES ARE JUST ALIEN DRONES, COME TO MINE OUR PLANET'S NATURAL RESOURCES. NEVER TRUST A DWARF!!!!
plinko: Nostalgia (Default)
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I would change the name of the "Bible" to "Legs". Just because I think it would be hilarious for preachers to say, "Let us open our Legs to Matthew," or "Let us open our Legs to Romans."

January 2012



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