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plinkoWoW is the MMORPG that anyone can play. Your grandma can play it. The mailman plays it. Hell, the seven year old living next door plays it better than you. But, this does not mean that you can't learn something from the World of Warcraft. And you SHOULD try to learn, unless you want someone screaming L2P, N00B at you for an entire raid.
1) You can not take a taxi while shapeshifted. I play a druid (durid / dr00d) moonkin (BOOMKIN LASARB33MS FTW!). Being a druid means I spend a lot of time shapeshifted into a cat, a bear, a sea lion, or a giant huggable furry thing with a beak, known as a "moonkin". But, no matter where you go, or how much they like you there, they are NOT going to let you get on a griffin and fly to the next town while you look like an animal. I don't know why. Maybe the flightmasters are all prejudiced against druids. Or maybe they are worried that you might perform some sort of bestial interspecies act with their precious griffins. Either way, as in WoW, so is the same in the real world. I'm guessing it is like WAY HARD for werewolves to catch a cab.
2) Outlands are scary. Northrend is terrifying. But Nothing can equal the sheer destructive power of the Undercity elevators. They have a power not only to kill you, but to warp reality itself, causing you to die repeatedly as you log off and on, often to a world of blank nothingness. This, in itself, should convince everyone NOT TO FUCK WITH THE UNDEAD. If their elevators can crash your entire world, just imagine what their next project might be. Escalators that send you back in time? Metal detectors that turn you into a murloc? Fear the Undead. Fear them.
3) Make friends with a rogue. If at all possible, do so while you're level 10, and he/she is level 80. There is no substitute for a friend who will open locked boxes for you, and run you through lower-lvl instances pwning everything so that you can loot it. Plus, if you PvP, there's no better "I got your back" than a rogue hiding juuuust over there. Similarly, in the real world, you should attempt to have a few shady friends. Not...criminal friends. Not guys who are knocking over taquerias and killing all the employees just because they want a breakfast taco. But, you know... It's good to "know someone who knows someone" who can quote you the price for breaking the legs of your troublesome ex-boyfriend.
4) Do not fuck with THAT warlock. You know the one. The solitary one who is standing by the flag in Arathi Basin, not even looking your direction, with a name like, "Stoopidhed" or "Turdboogar", his demon nowhere in sight. A) He's not alone. And B) He is going to fuck you up. Similarly, try not to underestimate situations in the real world. If there is a complete moron who seems to always win...he may not be relying on luck as much as you'd like to think. Also, if it is "too good to be true"...then yeah...be wary.
5) In every life, there comes a Crossroads, and to every Crossroads will come an Alliance raid. That's pretty Zen. And self-explanatory, I think.
6) Fight at the flag. There's always some imbecile who starts inching away from the flag, and then ten other guys follow him like lemmings, and a few seconds later, half the group is fighting in the middle of nowhere, the flag unprotected. I don't know why this is such a difficult axiom to learn. FIGHT AT THE FLAG. Don't get distracted from your goal and end up in a completely pointless place fighting for absolutely no reason. Remember this always, especially in internet flame wars. If people digress, and you follow the digression, you likely could end up with your entire point ninja'ed out from under you.
7) Less QQ and more PEWPEW! Why is there always someone who is lamenting what just happened instead of paying attention and getting shit done? I once did a PUG in Underbog with a shammy who spent THE ENTIRE RAID whining about how he didn't get the first item that dropped. Unbearable! Or what about the Hunter who went through ZF with my low-level group, and decided half-way through not to help us anymore because we weren't giving him ALL the drops. (Sure, he was 2 or 3 levels below the rest of us, but...being the low lvl on the group doesn't mean we're giving everything to YOU.) Quit your baby crying wah wah and man up, Jose.
8) People ALWAYS want you to do shit that IS NOT YOUR JOB. Why am I spending time looking through turds in Nagrand? Why am I retrieving cannonballs for this fucker who is standing not 100 yards away from them? Am I seriously supposed to go to the library for this lazy idiot? I'm supposedly a well-known and talented druid, a bastion of the mystical powers of Nature. I BLEED GREEN AND SHIT MAGICAL FLOWERS. So, why am I running around collecting lost airplane parts for Gnome #3 over there? Fuck his airplane! I've got THINGS TO GROW and people to RAKE.
9) All the honor points in the world can't buy an utter dickwad a heal. Right? AMIRITE?
10) Be nice to n00bs. Some day, they may be level 80. I belong to a "charity" guild. Which means that we do a lot of projects to help low-levels, not just in our guild, but anywhere we encounter them in the world. You seriously do reap what you sow. So many times, I've had random "strangers" pop out of the woodworks and help me out, ask me if I want to join a raid, heal and buff me for no reason, give me gold and supplies, equipment, offer to help me with quests... And afterwards, they tell me that I helped them when they were just starting out. Somewhere, they surpassed me in levels (because I suck), and then ran into me again later. Usually, I don't even remember them. But, it makes me glad to know that being a nice and considerate player really does have rewards, in the end.
11) If you're going to die, go out doing something useful. Your group is on the verge of wiping. Do you a) combat-rez the priest?, b) use your last seconds to heal the tank?, c) start bitching at the priest on vent, d) try to heal yourself and run away, ultimately falling into a pit of lava FAR from where any priest might have the chance of rezing you? or e) wonder why the hell you didn't make a paladin?
12) At some point in your life, you're going to get pwned by a bunch of murlocs. There's nothing you can do about this. Just accept it and move on.
13) You do not need a reason to /dance. Just, if you feel like it, then dance. In the auction house. On a boat. On the bloated corpse of your enemy. Dance like you're getting XP for it.
14) Whatever that is, if it came off of what you just killed, it can probably be cooked. There is no greater place to learn about world cuisine than Azeroth. One man's rabid worg is another man's tasty worgsteak. And with just a few spices, even murloc eyeballs can be made into something nutritious and delicious. If you're going to try so many new tastes in the World of Warcraft, why not be more adventurous with your eating at home? I bet that cricket under your fridge could taste decent if sauteed in butter and garlic. Try it tonight. It'll help you as our economy continues to crumble.
15) When all else fails, LAs3RB33M (moonbeam) them into submission. It didn't work the last 1000 times, but maybe it will work this time. This one is for the druids. RESPECKT AND LOVE, my FURRY DR00D FRIENDS!
I found a few more bits of good advice on this page. Hopefully, between my advice, and his, you have now been thoroughly WoW-educated.
1) You can not take a taxi while shapeshifted. I play a druid (durid / dr00d) moonkin (BOOMKIN LASARB33MS FTW!). Being a druid means I spend a lot of time shapeshifted into a cat, a bear, a sea lion, or a giant huggable furry thing with a beak, known as a "moonkin". But, no matter where you go, or how much they like you there, they are NOT going to let you get on a griffin and fly to the next town while you look like an animal. I don't know why. Maybe the flightmasters are all prejudiced against druids. Or maybe they are worried that you might perform some sort of bestial interspecies act with their precious griffins. Either way, as in WoW, so is the same in the real world. I'm guessing it is like WAY HARD for werewolves to catch a cab.
2) Outlands are scary. Northrend is terrifying. But Nothing can equal the sheer destructive power of the Undercity elevators. They have a power not only to kill you, but to warp reality itself, causing you to die repeatedly as you log off and on, often to a world of blank nothingness. This, in itself, should convince everyone NOT TO FUCK WITH THE UNDEAD. If their elevators can crash your entire world, just imagine what their next project might be. Escalators that send you back in time? Metal detectors that turn you into a murloc? Fear the Undead. Fear them.
3) Make friends with a rogue. If at all possible, do so while you're level 10, and he/she is level 80. There is no substitute for a friend who will open locked boxes for you, and run you through lower-lvl instances pwning everything so that you can loot it. Plus, if you PvP, there's no better "I got your back" than a rogue hiding juuuust over there. Similarly, in the real world, you should attempt to have a few shady friends. Not...criminal friends. Not guys who are knocking over taquerias and killing all the employees just because they want a breakfast taco. But, you know... It's good to "know someone who knows someone" who can quote you the price for breaking the legs of your troublesome ex-boyfriend.
4) Do not fuck with THAT warlock. You know the one. The solitary one who is standing by the flag in Arathi Basin, not even looking your direction, with a name like, "Stoopidhed" or "Turdboogar", his demon nowhere in sight. A) He's not alone. And B) He is going to fuck you up. Similarly, try not to underestimate situations in the real world. If there is a complete moron who seems to always win...he may not be relying on luck as much as you'd like to think. Also, if it is "too good to be true"...then yeah...be wary.
5) In every life, there comes a Crossroads, and to every Crossroads will come an Alliance raid. That's pretty Zen. And self-explanatory, I think.
6) Fight at the flag. There's always some imbecile who starts inching away from the flag, and then ten other guys follow him like lemmings, and a few seconds later, half the group is fighting in the middle of nowhere, the flag unprotected. I don't know why this is such a difficult axiom to learn. FIGHT AT THE FLAG. Don't get distracted from your goal and end up in a completely pointless place fighting for absolutely no reason. Remember this always, especially in internet flame wars. If people digress, and you follow the digression, you likely could end up with your entire point ninja'ed out from under you.
7) Less QQ and more PEWPEW! Why is there always someone who is lamenting what just happened instead of paying attention and getting shit done? I once did a PUG in Underbog with a shammy who spent THE ENTIRE RAID whining about how he didn't get the first item that dropped. Unbearable! Or what about the Hunter who went through ZF with my low-level group, and decided half-way through not to help us anymore because we weren't giving him ALL the drops. (Sure, he was 2 or 3 levels below the rest of us, but...being the low lvl on the group doesn't mean we're giving everything to YOU.) Quit your baby crying wah wah and man up, Jose.
8) People ALWAYS want you to do shit that IS NOT YOUR JOB. Why am I spending time looking through turds in Nagrand? Why am I retrieving cannonballs for this fucker who is standing not 100 yards away from them? Am I seriously supposed to go to the library for this lazy idiot? I'm supposedly a well-known and talented druid, a bastion of the mystical powers of Nature. I BLEED GREEN AND SHIT MAGICAL FLOWERS. So, why am I running around collecting lost airplane parts for Gnome #3 over there? Fuck his airplane! I've got THINGS TO GROW and people to RAKE.
9) All the honor points in the world can't buy an utter dickwad a heal. Right? AMIRITE?
10) Be nice to n00bs. Some day, they may be level 80. I belong to a "charity" guild. Which means that we do a lot of projects to help low-levels, not just in our guild, but anywhere we encounter them in the world. You seriously do reap what you sow. So many times, I've had random "strangers" pop out of the woodworks and help me out, ask me if I want to join a raid, heal and buff me for no reason, give me gold and supplies, equipment, offer to help me with quests... And afterwards, they tell me that I helped them when they were just starting out. Somewhere, they surpassed me in levels (because I suck), and then ran into me again later. Usually, I don't even remember them. But, it makes me glad to know that being a nice and considerate player really does have rewards, in the end.
11) If you're going to die, go out doing something useful. Your group is on the verge of wiping. Do you a) combat-rez the priest?, b) use your last seconds to heal the tank?, c) start bitching at the priest on vent, d) try to heal yourself and run away, ultimately falling into a pit of lava FAR from where any priest might have the chance of rezing you? or e) wonder why the hell you didn't make a paladin?
12) At some point in your life, you're going to get pwned by a bunch of murlocs. There's nothing you can do about this. Just accept it and move on.
13) You do not need a reason to /dance. Just, if you feel like it, then dance. In the auction house. On a boat. On the bloated corpse of your enemy. Dance like you're getting XP for it.
14) Whatever that is, if it came off of what you just killed, it can probably be cooked. There is no greater place to learn about world cuisine than Azeroth. One man's rabid worg is another man's tasty worgsteak. And with just a few spices, even murloc eyeballs can be made into something nutritious and delicious. If you're going to try so many new tastes in the World of Warcraft, why not be more adventurous with your eating at home? I bet that cricket under your fridge could taste decent if sauteed in butter and garlic. Try it tonight. It'll help you as our economy continues to crumble.
15) When all else fails, LAs3RB33M (moonbeam) them into submission. It didn't work the last 1000 times, but maybe it will work this time. This one is for the druids. RESPECKT AND LOVE, my FURRY DR00D FRIENDS!
I found a few more bits of good advice on this page. Hopefully, between my advice, and his, you have now been thoroughly WoW-educated.
